just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize