Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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