shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
