dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
