oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
