Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
