so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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