He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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