Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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