They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
