Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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