I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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