Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
