Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
