hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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