Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
