I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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