You're so nebulous sometimes
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize