I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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