windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
