after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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