I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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