Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I checked into jail on foursquare
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
