I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
