your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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