What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My vagina is officially offended.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
