Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
