Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
