Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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