I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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