i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
