I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
