Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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