"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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