Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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