yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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