I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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