apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
