Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
