They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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