There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
