I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
