See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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