I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
