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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well you can't waste a boner
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
