Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
