It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
