the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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