I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
