It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That was an excessively violent trivia night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
They took my balls.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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