i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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