i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize