The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
