Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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