If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
