sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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