it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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