If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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