I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
