i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize