It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
