You just made me feel so damn special
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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