You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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