I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
