K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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