I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
