Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
