guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
