Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
