Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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