Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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