omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
