I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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