just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We have started to decorate penises.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
