Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
